Always thought this blog would be about my life, events. But I guess this could count too? Love. It's such a powerful word, but such a strong emotion too. But what is it really like? So many music artists use it as a base for songs, I think 99% are about love now-a-days. All the movies make it seem that there's always a happy ending, but in reality, there's no such thing as a 'Happy Ever After'. Everyone watches the Disney movies when you're young, and we all grow up hoping to be our favorite Disney princess; whether it's Belle, or Cinderella, or Jasmine, or even Ariel. We're all set up to think that one day you'll find your soul-mate, your Prince Charming. But love is so much more than the person you marry. It's about family - your parents who raise you, your siblings because even though you always argue you still love them all the same, your grandparents who spoil you rotten but you'd still think the same of them even if they didn't. It's about your friends - the people you grow up with and go through school with you, the people who even though you don't see much anymore you know they'll always be there for you, the people who have been through thick and thin with you. It could even be about what job you want to do when you grow up, finding you're passionate about, even a hobby. Love is so much more than the person you'll marry.
Every different religion and country has their own views about love too. Some think that you should have an arranged marriage, some think that you shouldn't have sex before you're married. Everyone has a different view on it. You will have a different view on it to your friends, your parents and furthermore your grandparents. Everyone is ready for a serious relationship at different times and you shouldn't feel pressured just because your friends are in relationships or that your parents think your getting to an age in your life where you should be having relationships. Love isn't about that. It's about finding someone that you truly care about and keeping hold of it. After all, if you're anywhere near my age - you're still young! Go enjoy yourself.
Lots of people also think that men should be the one to spoil the woman all the time, kiss them on the cheek, make the first move. But I don't agree. Men like the care and attention just as much. We live in the 21st Century for goodness sake, women are just as powerful as men and as a friend once said to me "You're a strong independent woman, you don't have to shave your legs if you don't want to". I mean, ok, maybe we weren't on the same subject (as it happens I was complaining about the task of having to shave my legs constantly, but I'm sure you'll all agree that it's such a pain) but it's kind of getting to the same point, we're all strong independent women, we don't need to constantly have men looking after us anymore, we're just as capable of caring for them as they are of us, if that even makes any sense at all. Sending flowers is such a cute, romantic gesture, but who does that anymore? The only people who receive flowers anymore are your grandparents, and maybe even your mum on mother's day if she's lucky.
No relationship is ever going to be the same as another. Everyone is their own individual person, and each relationship is unique. Treasure it. Because in a blink of an eye everything could change, and that relationship you had could fall apart. Being in high school is such a stressful time, you don't need to have the extra of having a relationship on top of that, sure it's nice if you can but you after all your GCSEs are what dictate the rest of your life, concentrate on that and not whether you have a boyfriend or not.
I don't really know why I'm bringing this up but oh well I am. Cheating. It's a foul, horrible and bitchy thing to do. I'd love to be able to say that I've never been cheated on, but then I'd be lying. I'm not going to sit here and tell you that it's easy, or that it won't really affect you because it isn't and it does, especially if you love them. It's the hardest and most heartbreaking thing ever. You feel like you're second best, that you're not good enough. You feel so unbelievably low and you just wanna scream and shout and cry and punch someone and you're so angry and upset and frustrated all at the same time. Confusing I know, but if you've ever been through it you'll know what I'm talking about. I'd also love to say that I finished it and moved on, but I didn't. My story is complicated and they were drunk and they can't even remember it. It meant nothing to them, that's why I'm still with them. But if they tell you that it may of meant something, they're not worth it. Don't stand for second best. Ever. Maybe I'm being hypocritical but that's your opinion.
What is my ideal relationship you may ask at the end of all this?
I want someone who is my best friend as well as my boyfriend. Someone who will let me spoil them rotten as well as spoiling me. I can turn to them no matter what. We act like complete loonies together, but it's ok because we're loonies together. Someone who'll do dorky things with me and not care about what other people think. They'll call me beautiful all the time and wake me up with "Good morning beautiful" texts and send me to sleep with "Goodnight gorgeous, sleep tight, I love you" texts. I want someone who's willing to wait until I'm ready to have sex. Someone who will fall asleep with me in their arms just cuddling. Someone who will let me borrow their clothes and then "accidentally" forget to give them back. I want kisses on my forehead, temple and cheek. They'll creep up on me and hug me from behind when they first see me. Tickle me until I'm crying with laughter just to see me smile. I want someone who will chase after me and grand me and just hold me when I storm off because I'm being a mardy bitch. Hold my hand and give me Haribo rings and ask me to marry them to make me laugh. I want someone who I can grow old with and become one of those cute old couples that people make cute remarks over because we're walking around places like central park and Paris holding hands. I want someone who I can have a family with. I want someone who I can sit and watch Disney movies with and eat junk food all day with. Who I can have food fights with. Someone who is always joking and trying to make me smile, but knows when to be serious. But most of all, I want someone who will love me for who I am.
I know that's a lot to want, and in reality it will never happen. But a girl can dream. I know this post has so much writing and if you've read this far I'm very grateful. This is probably the words worst blog because it has no photos (yet) but it will soon and thank you for reading this far (if you have).
Clo x
